This has always been a touchy subject and the one thing that can cause stress when planning your guest list. How do you handle family and friends not invited to your wedding?

This year in particular has seen many couples re working their wedding guest lists to be able to host smaller celebrations and we don’t see this trend going away just yet.

At the moment it is easy to explain to the not invited as we have the pandemic, but how do you handle this when things are back to normal or you just don’t want a large wedding with your parents’ buddies and Aunt Betty.


If you know there will be someone in particular who might be offended or upset by being left off the guest list, give them a call ahead of time, as difficult as it may be, an open and honest conversation is best.


Explain your reason, be it the size of the wedding or sticking to a budget.

Assure your uninvited guest that its not a reflection of the value you place on their relationship.

If you wish to mark the occasion with them suggest options for example, we would love to have a special dinner or ask them if they would like to be included in another way for instance online viewing via webcam or arrange a live feed via Zoom.

Maybe you will have your ceremony recorded, so sending the recording as a small gift for being part of your life but not your wedding day will let them know that they are valued.

Currently everyone is very mindful that so many couples have had to scale back their weddings or postpone them. If you are re-planning a smaller wedding with already invited guests who are going to be uninvited they should be understanding.

The moment the person still feels valued they will understand your predicament and look forward to an alternative way of celebrating your special day.

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Wedding Wire has also a few good ideas about How to deal with family and friends not invited to your wedding.